Mel Sundquist’s portfolio

Without actually trying very hard

Originally published in the UVU Review on 9/1/08

In most cases, real objectivity is impossible. This specifically applies to professors and grading, because sometimes, even if you try your darndest on assignments and tests, your professor just won’t like you. This could be a problem for more than just grading; you could lose a possible reference or even earn a bad reputation in the staff room. Face it: Your grades depend on more than what is listed in the syllabus.

1. Approach the first few assignments from an angle that no one else in the class will consider. If you’re asked to make a sculpture of something that is important to you, look around to see what other people are making. Chances are, they’re all trying too hard to impress and pulling out all of the stops. Make something simple and go against the grain. If your professor hasn’t noticed you specifically in the first few class sessions, you don’t have much chance of excelling.

2. Naturally, it doesn’t hurt to know all the right answers. Try to anticipate what the classroom discussion will be about and do a little skimming, so you can make some informed contributions. Nothing is worse for a professor than a one-sided discussion devoid of participation from students.

3. Talk to people who have experience with the professor. You can do this online at sites like RateMyProfessors.com or just by word of mouth on campus. Learn from them what they wish they knew when the class first started. Ask them if there are any tricks to getting on your professor’s good side.

4. Everything about you should be a positive contribution to the class. Dress to look approachable, look the professor in the eye, and don’t ever make negative remarks about the class itself. Negative remarks about issues in class discussions are fine, but never demean or belittle the professor.

5. Even if you know nothing about the subject, try to contribute. Don’t worry about saying the wrong thing and embarrassing yourself. And don’t worry about asking silly questions. This exposes you to your professor as a sort of blank canvas — a favorite type of student among professors.

6. Especially in large classes, it’s easy to forget that you are interacting with a real human being. Don’t treat your professors like a channel for knowledge or a steppingstone to graduation. Remember that they have lives off campus just like you.

Originally published in the UVU Review on Aug. 24, 2008.

Switching your focus from work, friends, and entertainment to school can be a difficult thing to do, but over 24,000 of us will have to attempt it at the end of this month. There is no right way to do this, but in the end, it is a pass/fail course. Here are a few pointers:

1. Practice. Rehearse flipping the school switch on and off. Today, instead of watching television or hiking, pick up your textbooks and pay your fees. Then flip the switch back off, and enjoy the rest of your day. The more you try this, the easier it will become to make the big switch.

2. Sublimate. It can be daunting to change your carefree lifestyle of three months back to a structured and stressful school-week. Take that anxiety (or fear or anger) and bury it under a mountain of busywork. Clean your apartment, bake lasagna, write for a newspaper, do whatever it takes to get your mind off of your impending homework.

3. Smile. Find the good things about a new school year. You’ll meet new and interesting people in your classes, you’ll learn new things, and you’re sure to fit some fun in there somewhere. If necessary, enroll in an elective class that you know you’ll enjoy, making your schedule seem less terrifying.

4. Fill your backpack with kitschy school supplies like it’s the first day of kindergarten, because it’s just more pleasant to write notes on paper with a watermark of Michael Phelps or David Bowie.

5. Keep track of time. Once school starts, put a calendar on your wall, marking days that will act as the light at the end of the tunnel. Then, as school days go by, mark them off with a big satisfying red “X.” As is mentioned in this week’s article “A Nonrenewable Resource,” keeping track of the passage of time can make any stressful experience seem like it will, in fact, have an end.

6. Think of yourself as lucky. Unless you’re going into teaching, these will be some of the last summers you have. After graduation, your work schedule most likely won’t blink an eye when May turns to June. Be glad you still had these last three months to yourself.

7. Overcompensate. If you are reading this paper hot off the presses, you still have two days of summer. In these next 48 hours, stock up on things to regret later. Stay up late, get into trouble, or spend hours just eating or talking. Act out while you still can.

8. Plan ways to make your soon-to-be routine more bearable. Add “in bed” to the end of every sentence a boring professor utters. Make grades a competition with your peers (but only if you’re favored to win). If you prepare for these things now, they will be easier to incorporate into the grind.

9. Better yourself. I know it’s a pain, but if all else fails, you can use this semester to make yourself more like who you want to be. A motivation like this can make the next few months go by more quickly. And you might actually get better grades.

Originally Published in the UVU Review on June 30, 2008.

In the past, UVSC students were always able to act out and rest on the excuse ìIt’s okay, they’re just college students.” Well, that era is over, and now it’s time for us to collectively evolve into something much more intimidating: university attendees. Here’s how:

1. Take your education seriously. UVU is no longer a stepping stone to bigger and better things because it is bigger and better. Now, you can actually graduate a Wolverine, and bring your degree with you to a very successful career. It is no longer necessary to go to another school after graduating here, so treat these years like they are the last years of formal education you will have.

2. Keep staying up late, but do it with a textbook instead of a group of drunken friends. Sure, universities have great parties, but UVU isn’t quite to the point of the fraternity yet. Basically, imagine the stereotypical university student and try to act more like that stereotype.

3. Communicate with your professors. Class sizes may be growing, and the days of the adjunct professor or lecturer may be coming to an end, but that doesn’t mean that your professors aren’t still one of the people. Besides, what’s more like a university student than conversing with a professor over a cup of coffee?

4. Take on large projects for more than just the grade. University students create experiments that change the face of their field, write novels for their dissertation, and create works of art that are used for their final project and then put up in a public museum. So, for your next big project, try to make something that will influence the community.

5. Wear clothes that say “University” on them. Maybe invest in some reading glasses and keep a short pencil behind your ear. Because looking the part is a big aspect of becoming something new.

6. Seriously, decide on a major. A university is no place to wade your toes in the General Education pool. If that’s still what you want to do, take your toes to SLCC. University students have a long-term goal in mind, and their major is useful to them in reaching that goal.

7. Become more arrogant. You’re part of a university now, and you deserve the pomp and circumstance that goes along with that. Also, now is a good time to get away with being a little conceited.

Published in The College Times on June 16, 2008.

Media credit: Amber Drake

There are certain things that college students do. They do these things not because they are expected to, but because at this time in their lives they just feel the need. We stay up too late, we make drunken fools of ourselves in parking lots and camping grounds, we pompously talk about poets and politicians, and we get tattoos.

These actions stem from the same basic instincts that tell a toddler to ride their Big Wheel and a middle-aged man to buy a motorcycle — they are part of the human process. But for today, let’s focus on the experience most relevant to this writer: getting your first tattoo.

Before

1. Find the perfect design. Whether it’s something meaningful or something that’s just nice to look at, your first tattoo should be something you’re going to be happy with for more than just a few days. You should think of a tattoo as a permanent accessory: If you were going to wear one watch or bracelet every day for the rest of your life, you would want it to look nice. If you’re not an artist, you’ll need to outsource your design. I highly recommend going to doverpublications.com, buying a few clipart books, and finding your inspiration there. The designs are original and most can be easily translated to a tattoo.

2. Find the perfect placement. No matter what, your tattoo is going to hurt. If you’re willing to make it through any amount of pain, then finding the right location for it is going to be easy. However, if you want your first to be as painless as possible, try flicking potential locations with your fingernail as hard as you can. It’s a good way to see where it would hurt the least. Also, take into account any possible weight gain in the future — a stretched pinup girl tattoo just isn’t pretty.

3. Find an artist you can trust and make an appointment. Ask friends who have had tattoos, visit local galleries, talk to artists, and find someone you’re comfortable with. Call in beforehand to make an appointment because getting a tattoo doesn’t mean you no longer need to be polite.

4. Physically and mentally prepare. I’m sure you remember the instructions your high school teachers gave you on how to prepare for a big test. Study, get a good night’s sleep, come prepared, and eat a good breakfast. The same guidelines apply here. Try to familiarize yourself physically with the tattooing process. If you will be sitting in an awkward position, stretch what muscles you need to, to make it more comfortable. It is important to eat a balanced meal before your first tattoo. Think of it like your first ride on a roller coaster — you don’t want anything weird going on in your digestive system. Be sure to bring cash, as most galleries won’t take credit or checks.

During

1. Focus your energy as far from the tattoo as possible. For example, if you’re getting a tattoo on your wrist, you want that entire arm to be very relaxed, so the artist doesn’t draw outside the lines. Place all of the tension that the pain is causing into your calf or foot, so you can keep that arm free from twitches.

2. Latch on to a distracting thought. If it weren’t for all the pain and excitement, tattooing would be a very boring process. There is really nothing for you to do but lie still until the process is over, so be sure to pack along something to think about. You can plan out the decor for your apartment, ponder the techniques of your favorite writer — anything to keep your mind occupied.

3. Bring something to hold onto, Lamaze style. If you don’t have a friend to hold your hand, ball up your sweater and squeeze it as hard as possible. This will be a natural reaction to the discomfort, and it will be easier if you prepare for it.

After

1. Keep it clean. Tattoo parlors have differing views on post-tattoo hygiene, but according to the Eleventh Street Electric Gallery in Sugarhouse, you need to keep your tattoo bandaged, free from bacteria, and covered in ointment for the first three to five days. After this, the tattoo needs to be kept out of the sun and moisturized until it is entirely healed.

2. Prepare yourself with some ammunition against people’s reactions. Try to predict how your acquaintances will respond, and think of a reply to every possible thing they could say. If they say, “But it will be there forever,” reply with, “That’s the appeal.” Because the bottom line is, you’ve already made this decision, and unless they’re about to pin you down and take a laser to you, there’s nothing they can do about it. Don’t let them try to make you regret it.

3. Work with your tattoo, not against it. At first, it can be difficult to dress around your new tattoo. Now, you have to start thinking of this new aspect of your appearance, one just as important as body size or skin tone. Add this new variable into your calculations when shopping for clothes.

Published in The College Times on April 14, 2008.

1. Take a vacation. Even if you just spend a day or two in Salt Lake or buy a hotel room in downtown Provo for a couple nights, it is absolutely necessary that this summer, you take yourself to someplace new. Do not allow yourself to stagnate.

2. Figure out what you want to do. Find the best way to do it, and then go to! This may seem to get more and more complicated in real life. Try not to let it be.

3. Learn to do something new. Take knitting classes at Heindselmann’s yarn store in Provo. Learn to swim at your local rec center. Take a look at who you are now, figure out who you want to be, study the difference between the two, and learn something to make that deficit smaller.

4. Surprise yourself. Never been to Vegas? Drive down there and dance all night. Afraid of heights? Go bungee jumping. Find something that you might want to do but would never see yourself doing. Shake things up.

5. Embrace the clichés. Check out a self-help book from the library, with the words “happiness” or “better you” in the title. Take a couple words of advice from the book. And don’t be embarrassed to drown yourself in chocolate and kittens.

6. Make friends with someone with a boat, because sometimes, money (or the lack thereof) gets in the way of happiness. Sometimes it’s OK to become a hanger-on. Just contribute to the relationship in any way you know how to even things out.

7. River rafting is sure to be wonderful this year. All of that snow will make the rivers swollen by July, and that’s when rafting is the most fun.

8. Take lots of happy pictures, and write the date on the back of the print. Even if you don’t have much fun this summer, the pictures will make it seem like you did.

9. If none of this floats your boat, here’s some broader advice: Decide what you want to do with the day when you wake up. Then proceed to do it until you have to go to sleep. Repeat.

Published in The College Times on April 7, 2008.

Ideally, April should be a blissful time. The end of a semester, the beginning of summer, flowers and bunnies all lighten the season. But there is one thing that, for many people, makes April a dreaded month: taxes.

Really, they’re not as bad as they seem to be, but the stigma surrounding tax season makes it hard for anyone to file their 1040. There are very few ways that taxes can be avoided altogether, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try.

1. Don’t make money. Or just be sure to make less than your standard deduction every year. For example, for the tax year 2007, a single person’s standard deduction was $5,350 dollars. If they didn’t make more than that, and didn’t have any withholding, they were not required to file a tax return. These numbers change every year, and are different depending on your marital status, so be sure to check irs.gov for more details.

2. Move to a taxless state. States such as Nevada and Florida don’t require you to file state taxes. And even though a taxpayer’s state return is usually of less financial consequence than their federal, it can be very emotionally rewarding to only have to file a federal return.

3. Don’t buy things. Sales tax is usually less painful, but it isn’t something to be ignored if our goal is to stop paying taxes entirely. Sales tax is different in each state, so if you absolutely have to buy something, consider moving to a different state with a lower sales tax percentage.

4. Have babies. Children are the best tax break that a person can have. If one parent stays at home with a baby (who is twelve months old or less), they get a non-refundable credit of $100 on their Utah tax return. Child tax credit usually means an extra thousand dollars per child. If your income is within the correct bracket, earned income credit can get you up to $4,500 back. You can also claim earned income credit if you are single, but it tops out at about $400.

6. Itemize your deductions. Remember the chat we had about standard deductions? Well, if you can’t follow that rule, you can at least try to itemize your deductions to a point where it levels out your taxable income. Over the year, keep track of your medical expenses, personal property and real estate tax, mortgage interest, unreimbursed employee expenses, tax prep fees, and casualty and theft losses. Usually a person can’t itemize unless they have a mortgage, but that shouldn’t stop you from trying.

7. Man up to the consequences. If you flat-out refuse to pay tax, you can expect that the IRS is going to come after you. And then there will be fees and interest to pay. They do this because it’s not like they can restrict you from using government services if you don’t pay taxes. We don’t have the threat of our children being kicked out of public school or our cars being barred from the highways hanging over our heads, so they have to persuade us to pay by implementing fees. And you can bet that they will.

8. If you just can’t get around to paying, hire an accountant. Don’t let him tell you how much you had to pay, just have him take care of it. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

Published in The College Times on March 31, 2008.

Published in The College Times on March 24, 2008.

Unfortunately, for many people, graduation isn’t the end of high school.
Even though they move on to college and get jobs, they still might as well be planning club events and going to prom.

On television, the transition between high school and college is a complete and obvious change; but in real life, it sometimes seems anti-climactic and hard to recognize.

This leads to a pattern of denial, where graduates ignore the fact that their high school years are far behind them. This must be avoided at all costs. And here’s how:

1. Change your activities. If you were a drama geek in high school, find another hobby. Don’t eat lunch every day at your old favorite off-campus haunt. In the end, we are made up of what we do every day; and if your activities don’t change, neither will your mindset. You must live like you are officially not a high school student.

2. Have goals, not just hopes. In high school, it’s easy to say “One day I’m going to be a (insert dream occupation here).” But now, you’ve got to get past that and actually do some work to get to where you want to be. You no longer have an excuse to remain stagnant.

3. Never go back. Even if you made friends with the sophomores and you want to watch the football games, you must not allow yourself to be on campus again. Don’t date anyone who is still in high school. Don’t even associate with them. Ignore that the institution exists, if need be.

4. Associate with older people. Sometimes it’s hard to realize that you no longer need to sit at the kiddie table. You can stay up past curfew. You can smoke, drink and gamble. Convince yourself that you are an adult, and should therefore associate with other adults.

5. Move out of your parent’s house. Sure, it’s tough. Nobody wants to do his or her own laundry or buy groceries. But you can only grow up so much without moving out.

6. Change your wardrobe. An important aspect to moving on is looking like you have moved on. If you dress like a high school student, you are going to be treated like one. This doesn’t mean that it’s strictly collared shirts and nylons from here on out. You should make a physical distinction between yourself and the local high school students.

7. Get it out of your system. Even though it may seem that after graduation you should make drastic changes, give yourself some time to adjust. Don’t buy houses and have babies immediately. Give yourself a year or so to remove yourself completely from high school before doing anything too extreme.

Published in The College Times on March 10, 2008.

Without getting evicted

Published in The College Times on March 3, 2008.